My Best Friends Baby
by pixiejinxjeid
Summary: "You don't get it-" "Why because I don't have kids? Because I would..." "And you still will Spence-" And Jennifer Jareau would make sure of that! Even if it was for selfish reasons... But it made the perfect sense two young heathy people who wanted nothing more than a baby in their lives
1. Chapter 1

**An: Hi everyone! I'm here with a new story, I wasn't happy with a few of my old ones so I'm starting again. I owe a huge thanks to JJCM,** **aMUSEment345, Mabelreid, and Ann Parker for helping me get my story off the ground! I hope to get feedback from everyone!**

"Mommy!" JJ groaned as she heard the beckoning war cry of her four year old son. "Mommy! Wake up!" The small blonde ordered at the end of her bed. With an over dramatic sigh JJ rolled over throwing a pillow over top of her head, knowing very well her son would have something to say about this. His feet padded across the floor to where her head lay on the bed. "Mommy, daddy will be here soon! I need to pack!"

The blonde mother's eyes opened and darted directly to the digital clock; it read one minute to six thirty. "Henry, baby," JJ tried her best to smile as she sat up and lifted her son onto her bed. "Daddy isn't coming until noon, we still have time until he comes and gets you. Why don't we relax in mommy's bed for a bit?" She suggested very hopefully that she would be getting a few more hours of sleep.

Except the blonde child had different ideas… "Can we call Uncle Spence and ask him to take us for pancakes?! Please mommy! Please! Please!" Henry begged with big blue puppy dog eyes.

The team had been having a lot of back to back cases which resulted in Henry losing much valuable time with his godfather. Spencer had promised the young boy that they could go for pancakes one weekend to make up for all the times he canceled on him. Since Will left a few months ago Spencer had dedicated his spare time to being the father figure in Henry's life now. Will was still around somewhat he Skyped, called, and FaceTimed often but living all the way out back in New Orleans left little time for him to spend with his son. JJ and Will had come to a mutual agreement that for a few weeks every month Henry would go out to New Orleans and spend that time learning about the different culture out there until he started school again in September. At least that's how Spencer Reid explained it when JJ threw a massive fit at Will in the middle of the office when he requested the idea.

"Please mommy!" Henry begged.

JJ brushed the light blonde strands of hair out of her son's face. "Okay," she caved. "I will call but you have to go get dressed and brush your teeth." The four year old let out a shout of happiness before jumping off the bed and zooming out of the room.

Unplugging her phone from the charger JJ hit the speed dial and waited for him to answer. Spencer was never much of a sleeper so she was expecting him to be awake and like always he was. "Hey JJ! What's wrong?" He answered quickly, JJ never called him before eight.

"Nothing Spence." She couldn't help but grin he was always on his toes. "Henry and I were wondering if you would be up for getting pancakes with us on this fine early morning."

A thud was heard on the other end of the phone that made JJ jump. "Sorry!" Spencer sputtered. "I dropped my book… Sorry…"

JJ laughed, "it's no problem, so pancakes? Up for it?"

"Yeah… Yeah! Definitely, I'll be there in twenty. I'll drive." Reid answered, they said their goodbyes and hung up. JJ threw the covers back and walked across the cold wood floor to the wardrobe that sat on the far side of the room. Changing into jeans and an overly large Redskins jersey she left her room to check on Henry.

"How's it going little man?" Henry's mother asked him as she watched her son try to do up the buttons of his cardigan. "Need help?"

"No! I can do it mommy!" Henry exclaimed as he frantically missed buttoned it. "Done!" His smile was bright. "Is uncle Spence taking us for pancakes?" The little boy was so hopeful of this, he missed his uncle like crazy.

JJ kneeled down to fix his buttons. "Yes he is, and he will be here very soon so go brush your teeth and use the potty so we can go." She barely finished her sentence before the blonde lightning bolt took off towards the washroom. He pulled the stool on from under the sink so he could reach the faucets.

Spencer pulled up outside of JJ's house and let a slight smile peek through his lips. There was always something about the gorgeous white house, and the perfectly watered green grass that made him happy. Or maybe it was because he imagined himself living in that house, raising Henry and loving JJ… That thought made his smile turn into a grin.

He got out of the car and knocked three times on the door waiting for an answer. "Uncle Spence!" He heard Henry cry from behind the door. "Mommy answer it!" The little boy knew enough not to answer the door alone.

JJ unlocked the door and opened it slowly as she attempted to stop Henry from running out. "Good morning Spence, how are you?" She greeted once she opened the door fully with Henry in her arms.

Henry struggled against his mother's arms into his uncle's. "I'm good JJ, I'm really glad you called I've missed him." He confessed as he shifted Henry over his hip. "Are you ready for Pancakes buddy?"

"Yeah!" Henry cheered. "Pancakes! Pancakes! Bacon, eggs and pancakes!"

The entire way to the IHOP Henry sang his song eventually getting his mom and uncle to join in with him.

They were seated quickly just before the morning breakfast rush so there was a fair amount of peace during their breakfast. Henry had ordered chocolate chip pancakes which he devoured the moment they were placed in front of him. JJ had banana pancakes and Spencer blueberry, they had spent the morning talking about Henry's first big trip to New Orleans. Spencer was telling the boy all about the birds and bugs he would see while he was up there. JJ talked to him about safety at the airport and that he was to stay with his daddy at all times no matter what! JJ was extremely nervous about leaving her son in a different state, it was different from when she was on a case… Henry wasn't going to be at home.

"Uncle Spence have you ever been to New Orleans?" Henry asked as his mother cut up his pancakes.

Spencer choked a little on his coffee before putting the mug down. "Yeah Henry, yeah I have for work."

"Was it fun?"

Spencer tried to contain his thoughts… It was probably one of the worst trips he had ever been on. He ran from the team, lied to them, watched JJ fall in love, but he admitted he had a problem. "Uh yeah, the city is nice. I have a friend who lives there and he loves it."

Henry nodded, Spencer couldn't help but notice the hesitation in his godsons voice. "Daddy said we can go see alligators and turtles… and the wax museum."

"You mean the Musée Conti Wax Museum?" Henry nodded. "It is beautiful, you will learn all about the French Creoles. You can see beautiful costumes, authentic décor and hear stories of Pierre Le Moyne d'Iberville and Jean-Baptiste Le Moyne, Sieur de Bienville, two legends in New Orleans lore. You will hear the story of how they found swamp land that came to be New Orleans. You may also learn about Napoleon and when he sold Louisiana as well as the pirate Jean Lafitte."

The blondes boy eyes widened. "A pirate! Mommy I'm going to learn about a real pirate!" He exclaimed the waitress who was refilling Spencer and JJ's coffee couldn't help but let out a small giggle.

"Jean Lafitte was a French-American pirate and privateer in the Gulf of Mexico in the early 19th century. He and his elder brother, Pierre, spelled their last name L-a-f-f-i-t-e, but English-language documents of the time used "L-a-f-i-t-t e".

JJ's hand reached over to pat Spencer's hand. "Okay Spence let's save some facts for the tour."

After bickering with JJ for ten minutes about the bill Spencer paid the whole thing before getting the Jareau's into his car. "So am I still picking you up for Rossi's party tonight?" Reid asked as he drummed his fingers against the steering wheel.

JJ's eyes widened. "I completely forgot about that!" The senior agent of their team had decided to host a party with his work family to show off his new gazebo and Morgan was bringing the drinks which only meant trouble. "Yes you still are- if you don't mind I mean." JJ blushed. "Say around seven?"

"Seven is perfect." After they were dropped off JJ rushed around the house looking for everything Henry needed for his trip.

"Tooth brush?"

"Check!" Henry replied.

"Hair brush?"

"Check!"

"Clean underwear?"

"Check!"

"Curious George?"

"Umm…" The literary famous monkey had been a gift from his godfather and Henry never went to bed without it. "He's not in the bag mommy…" Two fat tears started to crawl down the little boys face.

JJ rubbed the top of his head in comfort. "Check the bathroom okay? Or the kitchen?"

Crisis was averted when Henry came charging back in swinging the monkey around.

"He was by the coat rack!" The two finished their packing just in time for the knock on the door. JJ carried the suitcase down the stairs and unlocked the door for her ex-boyfriend.

"Hi Will." JJ greeted as she handed him the case. "I hope you guys have a good time…" She was trying her best to be supportive and happy about all of this for Henry's sake but in all honesty it was slowly killing her inside… A whole week away from her son!

"Thanks Cher- I mean JJ…" that nickname was just a force of habit. " I promise he'll call every night." Will smiled the best he could he knew this wasn't easy for JJ but Henry was his son too.

The two stood in awkward silence until Henry made his entrance. "I'm ready!" He called as he marched into the hallway carrying his backpack and curious George. "Let's go daddy! I wanna be in the air-o-plane! Uncle Spence told me I could be in the clouds!"

"Say goodbye to your momma then we can go, kay champ?"

Henry ran into his mother's legs and hugged them close. "Bye mommy." He whispered.

JJ crouched down to his level and embraced him in a warm hug and kisses the top of his head. "I love you baby. Be good for daddy alright? And I want to hear about your day okay? So I will call you every night! No matter where I am I promise."

Henry nodded before pulling back and kissing his mother's nose. "I'm a big boy mommy, and you're a big girl so no crying." The small boy demanded as he wiped his mom's tears away. A breath caught in JJ's throat as she nodded then kissed her son once more.

Will picked up Henry's backpack and suitcase before ushering the boy out of the house. "I'm sorry Jay, but we got a plane to catch. I promise he will call you first thing tomorrow mornin' after he gets some rest. The trip will be hard on him."

"I know." Was JJ's reply. "I fly a lot remember."

Will nodded. "I really do think he'll enjoy his time out there. He needs to broaden his horizon outside of the city life."

"By bringing him to a place full of drunks-"

Will rolled his eyes this was just a repeat of their conversations from the past few weeks. "We talked about this already-"

"I know it was uncalled for." The blonde sighed. "Just make sure he calls me Will, I mean it ."

Her child fathers nodded. "Yes, I promise he will call you. Now we really gotta go."

JJ waved as her son got into his father's truck and headed down the road to the airport.


	2. Chapter 2

JJ turned off the warm shower and stepped out of the tub, wrapping a towel around herself she stood in front of the mirror. She wiped the condensation off with her hand leaving hand printed streaks across it. She looked at herself in the mirror and sighed it had been too long since she had a good night's sleep. A ring tone broke her free from her thoughts, looking down to her phone JJ saw the caller ID read Emily. Answering it on speaker so she could grab her hair brush and work through her hair.

"Hey Em" JJ answered when the call connected.

"Hello Jay, do you have any idea what we are supposed to be wearing to this party? I have no idea what Rossi meant by 'Party wear' is it the same as club wear?"

JJ stopped brushing her hair she didn't even think about what she was going to wear and it was breaching quarter past six. "Uh… Formal maybe? Not black tie but not clubish." She answered hesitantly.

Emily laughed into the phone. "Well I'll find something but what are you going to wear?"

"Uh, clothes." Was the blondes response before she went back to combing her hair. "I have the black one-"

"That makes you look like a school teacher!" Her best friend cut in. "What about the blue strapless one? That makes your boobs hot."

JJ nodded even though Emily couldn't see it. "Yeah I guess now I have to go Spence will be here soon." JJ winced as the shriek shot through her phone.

"He's picking you up! Is he your date!" Emily cried. "Please tell me he is!"

Rolling her eyes JJ grabbed her makeup bag from the cabinet and rummaged around for her mascara. "No I am going single, so is Reid, and so are you. You know the only single people on the team. Well besides Rossi." JJ blinked a few times after accidently poking herself in the eye. "Spence and I are just friends you know that."

"He's been in love with you for years!" Emily exclaimed. "You just never noticed."

"It's funny," JJ stated as she applied eyeliner. "No one said anything about Reid's supposed feelings for me until AFTER Will and I broke up. Now it's something I hear at least once a day but yet Spencer hasn't said anything to me." It annoyed JJ to end that people would just toss her best friends emotions around like that. Whether or not it was true,nit still wasn't right to share Spencer's personal feelings.

JJ heard Emily sigh through the phone. "Alright fine. I'll see you at Rossi's." And before JJ could reply the brunette hung up her phone.

* * *

Reid pulled up outside of JJ's house for the second time that day. He let out a shaky breath as he walked across the pathway and knocked on the door three times. It was kind of his thing, a thing he and Henry had made up; if there were three quick knocks on the door that meant uncle Spencer was here. Spencer saw the light behind the door turn out before the porch light turned on. JJ opened the door and stepped under the dim light but Spencer couldn't help but gasp as he saw her. The dress she was wearing matched her eyes perfectly the same cobalt blue it showed all of her curves off beautifully. Her hair was curled nicely and ran down her back, in her hands was a black clutch that matched her shoes and coat perfectly. "Wow" was all he managed to fluster out. "Wow"

JJ giggled as she turned to lock the door. "Wow yourself Doctor Reid, I didn't even know you owned a suit." She teased. The first thing she noticed when she walked out the door was Spencer's perfectly fitted and pressed suit. "Shall we go?" She asked as she looped her arm into his.

"The first documented high school prom was held in the 1930's but it was believed that colleges were having proms as early as the 1800's" Reid informed JJ as they entered the car.

JJ clicked her seatbelt before turning to her friend. "Why are you telling me prom facts? Shouldn't you be telling me things about gazebos or mansions?" She played it off with a laugh but really JJ was confused and maybe even a little concerned.

Spencer licked his lips awkwardly as he started the engine. "It feels like prom though… Doesn't it? I mean dressing up, dancing outside, Morgan probably spiking the punch…"

JJ looked at her best friend and saw the hurt cross his face. It clicked that the poor boy never went to his high school prom, no friends, no date, why should he go? So when Rossi requested everyone to go to his house for a formal party attire night Reid's brain made the connection to the thing he missed out on. JJ reached over to hold her friend's hand while they were stopped at a red light. "Yeah Spence, it is prom." She smiled. "But don't expect any funny business in the backseat on our way home got it?"

Reid grinned as he started driving again. "Got it."

JJ thought back to her high school prom. It was nothing fancy just a dressed up party in their school gym. The dinner was cold and try lights were hot. Being named prom queen wasn't all it was hyped up to be, she was just forced to wear a crown for the rest of the night and get a photo with Richard Davison who later convinced her it was a good idea to lose her virginity on the back of a pickup truck…

The Volvo was put in park and the two exited the car in silence. As JJ rounded to the drivers side Spencer met her halfway to link his arm within her's. They walked through the gates into the backyard and they were welcomed with bright and beautiful fairy lights. The rest of the team was already there, they were under the roof of the large white gazebo talking and laughing with each other. There was a large buffet table filled with foods from all around the world; from sushi to churros to macaroni mini cakes.

"Glad you two made it!" Rossi called as JJ and Spencer came into his eyesight. "You looks beautiful JJ." He complimented with a smile.

The black blonde smiled widely. "Why thank you Rossi. And might I say your backyard renovations look marvellous."

"Gazebos were common in Egyptian gardens 5,000 years ago. As you might imagine, members of royalty were the first to have them." Reid piped in as he let JJ's arm go.

Rossi laughed at the young genius' comment. "Well I was always told I was king."

"No you always said that about yourself." The unit chief walked up to join the conversation with Beth not to far behind him.

"Well am I wrong?" Rossi quipped back causing the group to laugh.

JJ looked around the whole team was standing in a circle she felt so safe and happy having everyone here. The past few month without Will had been easy and hard, it was easy because there were no more arguments and late night fights but it was hard because she couldn't spend time alone she would go from work to home to back to work and home. "Drink blondie?" Morgan offered. Jennifer took the glass and almost gagged at the strong smell of rum that made her nose hairs stand on end.

"Jamaican rum punch?" She asked before taking a quick sip and letting a breath out after it attacked her throat.

"Only the best for the team." Derek replied as he clinked his glass again her's.

The team's party was well in swing, they were dancing and singing along to the songs on the playlist Garcia made.

 **It's late now**

 **Time to sleep**

 **Close your eyes**

JJ smiled when she heard the song come over the loudspeaker, her body gently swayed as she sang along to the lyrics.

 **Go to dreams**

 **Clouds on walls**

 **And blue skies**

 **Mommy's sun,**

 **her moon, her stars**

"Do you want to dance?" Spencer asked, his hand was extended outward hoping she would take it.

"I'd love to Spence." She took his hand and walked him into the middle of the dance floor she tangled her hand in his and wrapped the other over his shoulder while Spencer's other hand rested on her hip. They swayed softly to the beat taking in the scene around them. Morgan and Garcia were dancing together her head was rested on his shoulder. Hotch and Beth were on the other side of the Gazebo sharing a cute moment together, lastly Rossi and Emily were dancing around the floor cracking jokes and telling stories.

 **And you**

 **You make me run**

 **And you**

 **You make me want to live**

"Spence," JJ started. "I wanted to thank you, for being there for Henry and I these past few months." Spencer smiled down at the blonde before tightening the grip on her hip. "I don't know how I would have made it through these last few months without you."

"I love spending time with you and Henry." He confessed. "You both mean so much to me."

Images of the first time Reid set eyes on Henry flashed through his head. He remembered how happy he felt and how proud he was of JJ. Humans can only handle forty-five dels of pain and childbirth is fifty-seven dels. It wasn't an easy thing to do especially naturally.

 **Your smiles**

 **Well they make my day**

 **You don't know it yet**

 **But you're everything**

JJ nodded as she rested her head against his chest. "You'll make a great dad one day. I'm really proud of you." Since the death of Maeve Spencer had been moving forward slowly, since the Hines case when Spencer disclosed to JJ that if Maeve had still been a lived he would be expecting his first child, maybe even their second. She was not only proud of him for supporting her but for holding on. Holding on even when the world told him it was time to let go and fall, Spencer Reid wasn't ready he still had the wholehearted dreams ahead of him.

 **This little song well**

 **Its for you**

 **These lovely years**

 **here with you**

"Thank you JJ."

 **And you**

 **You make me run**

 **And you**

 **You make me want to live**

"Have you ever thought about having another kid?" Spencer whispered. He felt JJ stiffen in his arms. Had he said the wrong thing? "JJ-"

"No Spence it's fine… It's just kids was a factor in why mine and Will's relationship failed. We tried… But I guess it wasn't in our cards."

 **And you**

 **You make me run**

 **And you**

 **You make me want to live**

 **For you**

(Fisher - You Lyrics)

"I looked into adoption." Spencer confessed, and it felt almost good. "But I was denied… Our hours are too deranged."

JJ pulled away to look her best friend in his eyes. "I am so sorry Spencer."

"Prior to the development of infant formula in the 1920s, most adoptees were older children." Reid informed JJ. "So maybe I try foster Care? Adopt someone older."

JJ smiled brightly. "You're like a white knight you know that?

"I'm starting to believe it." He joked. "And you're an amazing mother Henry is a great and happy child."

The two went back to dancing close together forgetting their troubles just for a little while. The two best friends had so much in common that they never noticed the main thing: wanting children. JJ was still fighting the memories of Afghanistan, she and Will tried for a baby that she lost and the thoughts of having another one was too much, the leading cause of divorce is from the loss of a child…

Spencer opened up his vulnerability to JJ by admitting he was looking into having a child. He opened up even more by admitting no agency would let him adopt a baby. And he felt good, he felt happy and almost free.

 ** _AN: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review and let me know! Just to clarify this story take place at around the mid season of 9. So 200 hasn't happened yet, as well as JJ and Will never got married in 7! And Prentiss never left! Thank you and I hope to update soon!_**


	3. Chapter 3

A week has passed since the party at Rossi's house and JJ found herself at the BAU office. The team had just got back from a two day local case but it sent shivers down JJ's spine, two kidnapped four year olds. She just couldn't shake the feeling that it could have been Henry, which was another reason why JJ was staying in the bullpen so late into the night she was waiting for Henry to skype her.

"Vanilla latte as per usual." Spencer walked up behind JJ and placed the coffee cup on her desk. He stayed behind with JJ to finish up his paperwork and start some for next week.

JJ picked up the cup and took a long sip. "Mmm, thank you so much Spence." Before Spencer could reply JJ's computer beeped letting her know someone was calling her through the webcam.

"I'll give you two a moment." Spencer said as he straightened up above JJ but was stopped when she grabbed his arm.

"No, sit." She ordered as she grabbed the spinning chair from the neighbouring desk for her friend to sit. "Henry will want to see you too." Without waiting for a response the blonde accepted the chat and waited for her son to appear.

The hyper blonde boy popped up on the screen very close to the camera, so close that all you could see was his bright blue eye. "Daddy! I can't see mommy! I'm looking into the camera." Both JJ and Spencer let out soft hearted laughs as Will pulled the boy back onto the couch. "Oh!" He gasped. "Now I see them! Hi mommy! Hi uncle Spence!"

"Hi baby!" JJ replied with a large toothy grin. "How has your day been? Do anything exciting? Wrestled an alligator?" She teased as Henry went into a fit of giggles.

"No mommy! Alligators are scary! There teeth are thiiis big!" He over exaggerated extending his arms longer than his body.

Spencer piped in next. "Alligator teeth tend to be between one and two inches long. And guessing by the fact that you saw an alligator today you and your dad went out of town to a swamp tour? Or went into City park?"

JJ saw the confused expression on her son's face as he looked up at his father as if telling him to answer the question. Which he did; "Yeah Spencer we did." Will answered. "We went to a swamp for a little bondin' trip-"

"Yeah!" Henry cheered. "Daddy, me, and Liam went on this boat but we didn't row it had a fan turning in the back! And Liam bought ice cream for me then daddy and Liam told me about the baby!"

Spencer blinked a few times taking in the news he had just been told. Did Henry say baby? The genius just stared at the screen because he was afraid to look at his best friends face. And seeing the scared look in Will's face he had a right to be afraid. "Uh Henry," Will broke the silence. "Say goodnight to your mamma and go get ready for bed, we got a busy day tomorrow."

Henry nodded before leaning closer to the camera. "Goodnight mommy! Goodnight uncle Spence. Love you!" Henry blew a kiss to his mother and scurried out of the camera's view.

Will moved to sit on the middle of the couch and be in better view of the webcam. He fidgeted with his hands before looking up at the screen. "I can explain everything-"

"Who's Liam? And why is she meeting my son?" JJ seemed surprisingly calm… Too calm.

Will licked his lips. "Liam's an old friend of mine, our daddies were detectives together-"

"And she's pregnant? With your child?" Spencer almost couldn't bare to listen to this JJ was holding everything in and sooner or later she would burst.

The New Orleans man nodded his head skeptically. "We didn't plan on it JJ. I was holding off on her meeting Henry but after we found out I knew they needed to meet-"

"That wasn't your decision to make Will!" Both Will and Spencer winced as JJ raised her voice. "You were supposed to talk to me first! Tell me first so I wasn't blindsided by it! It's just respectful!" A snippet of their conversation crossed JJ's mind. "You told me you and your friend were taking Henry out… I referred to Liam as a he and you didn't correct me!"

Will rubbed his temple in frustration. "I didn't mean to hurt you-"

JJ scoffed. "Hurt me? We've been broken up for what? Three months? Four? And you've already got your girlfriend pregnant! If I can even call her that!" Will's face had turned red with anger. "Tell me Will do you always sleep with women so soon? Or just the ones you plan on knocking up?!"

"Now JJ that's not fair!" Will snapped his body jolting upwards.

JJ nodded. "You're right Will it's not fair." Her demeanor changed and JJ had once again become completely calm before closing the webcam video.

Spencer watched as JJ fell apart at her desk. He was mere inches from her but was afraid she might break if he tried to touch her. JJ had never looked so vulnerable in her life, her eyes were leaking tears and her mouth was attempting to stop the whimpers and sobs but it just made a wet gagging noise instead. Spencer had only seen JJ cry once during a hard case it wasn't real tears or sobs she let a single tear float down her face then she was done. But now? Now JJ was holding on by a thread. And this confused Spencer hadn't JJ explained the break up to be her idea when Will first moved out? It seemed logical the couple merely lacked affection for one another, they shared no body contact not even a pat on the shoulder, they fit no factors in what a normal functioning relationship was supposed to look like. Not like Spencer knew what they were supposed to look like but he read about it!

JJ gasped in a breath before rubbing her eyes, she lifted her head to look at Spencer and tried to smile but it looked more like an upside down grin. Reid reached his hand over to JJ's knee and stroked it gently. JJ placed her hand over his and squeezed. "He's having a baby." She whispered. Spencer nodded in response then his eyes widened as JJ started laughing. "He's having a baby!" Tears were in her eyes again but they seemed to be from all the laughter.

"JJ-" Spencer tried to calm his friend.

But she just kept laughing and squeezing his hand. "I-I lost his baby and then he goes and has one with someone else!" Spencer stared wide eyed, did JJ realized what she had just confessed to him? It was obvious at this time that his best friend was suffering from shock… And badly. "My job at the pentagon was a backstop." JJ confessed with a cackle. "And Will decided that me being in a desert was the best time to have a baby!"

Reid pulled his hand out of JJ's and moved it to her shoulder to show comfort. JJ leaned into his hand and stopped laughing, her body relaxed all together. "I lost the baby, and I never told him." JJ confessed. "I couldn't bring myself to admit what happened, and I couldn't try again with him Spence. I couldn't risk the chance of losing another child so I locked it all away and when it proved to be too much I told Will to leave."

Without a second thought Spencer stood up and pulled JJ up forcing her into a hug and she hugged him back. After long minutes they let go of their embrace and Reid took JJ's hand dragging her towards the elevator. "What are you doing?" JJ asked her friend.

"I'm taking you home Jennifer." He spoke sternly sending shivers down JJ's spine. "You're in no condition to drive so I'll take you."

The drive was quiet JJ was fighting sleep while Reid's brain moved a mile a minute. _If the pentagon was a backstop where did they send JJ? Why couldn't she tell Will what happened?_

When they reached JJ's home she assured him he didn't need to come in. That she was just going to go right to sleep after a quick shower. She made sure Reid understood to text her as soon as he got home so prove he was home safe as well.

Reid was barely able to sleep that night because his thoughts kept rendering back to JJs confession: " _I lost the baby, and I never told him."_

* * *

A few days later JJ made her way into her OBGYN's office, it was time for her tri-annual Pap smear. After signing in with the receptionist JJ sat in one of the ugly green and pink chairs placed against a wall, the blonde looked at the coffee table in front of her the table of full or parenting magazines. JJ felt angered seeing those magazines just sitting there; there were women here because they are infertile and the office expected to read parenting magazines while they waited? The audacity of some people!

Refusing to look at the smiling red haired child on the cover of Mothers Monthly JJ walked over to the bored full pamphlets. JJ had seen them multiple times before: "test for cancer", "Blood in the urine? Call a doctor!", It's important to look for lumps!", and many more. But one pamphlet did catch the blondes eye, one she hadn't read before. The cover was the outline of a uterus and inside of the female organ was a circle with a smiling face and what looked to be a tadpole- oh wait! It was an egg and a sperm, they were shaking hands and the title of the brochure read "Sometimes it takes a little help!" Just as JJ picked up the brochure she was called into the examination room by the nurse. Having nowhere to put the paper JJ crumpled it up in her hand and followed the nurse, when she entered the room the nurse handed her a gown before leaving. JJ stripped down before throwing the gown over her body and opening the door a crack before sitting in the examination table. Knowing she would have a few spare minutes JJ opened to pamphlet to begin reading:

"Deciding to consult a fertility specialist is an important milestone in your journey towards parenthood. Fertility treatment can be emotionally and physically stressful, but it can also open up a world of options and can bring new hope to many who are struggling to conceive"

"Hello Jennifer." Doctor Rose entered the room surprising JJ.

"Hi, hello sorry! I didn't hear you come in…" JJ blushed as she moved the brochure behind her back.

The doctor smiled as she pulled her latex gloved over her hands. "It quite all right, can I get you to sit back for me?" JJ did as she was told, then she propped her legs up on the rails and shut her eyes. "So I see you noticed our new expansion to the practice." Dr. Rose said.

JJ internally growled this really wasn't the time to be making small talk. "Uh well I saw the cover, that's what attracted me…"

The doctor nodded her head. "Well you're all done." JJ let out a sigh of release but didn't get up off the table because the doctor was still in the room. "Doctor Yasmine Wyatt joined us recently. She is a fertility specialist and allowed us to open our doors into fertility treatment such as artificial insemination."

JJ nodded along. "My eggs are fine thank you I have a son-"

"These treatments aren't just for infertile women, they are for single months who wish to have children." JJ's ears perked up slightly. "I'll give you doctor Wyatt's card and you call her whenever you feel ready."

JJ couldn't stop the smile that slowly grew on her face. "Thank you."

 ** _AN: So I'm debating is I should change the rating to M. Let me know what you guys think?_**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: so this chapter is a little shorter. I would like to give thanks to JJCM, aMUSEment345, D.C. al Coda, whatif-ifonly, Ann Parker, and Mabelreid for helping me get this story off the ground! If you haven't read any of their stories go do it!**

"Next round is on me!" Emily called over the music at the bar. The three girls decided JJ needed to have a night out before Henry came home the following day.

JJ nodded before taking the last shot on the tray, as soon as Prentiss walked away Garcia scooted her chair over to JJ's. "So what's going on in your pretty little head peaches?"

JJ sighed and rested her elbows on the table, there were so many things she needed to tell her friend but it wasn't really the best time. "I just miss Henry, it's been a long two weeks."

"I know sugar, but he'll be back tomorrow." There was silence for a minute before Garcia asked another question. "Is Will coming back with him?"

JJ nodded as she played with her fingers. "Yeah… He's hanging out with some friends from the force before he can't do it anymore."

The tech goddesses eyebrow quirked. "Why wouldn't he-"

"He's having a baby!" JJ snapped, Emily had just reached the table when she heard JJ's outburst. "He got his old friend pregnant and he needs to be with her!"

Garcia and Prentiss shared a look, they had never seen JJ act like this… Ever. "Sweetie what else is bothering you?" Garcia asked. "When Will left you couldn't be more happy and relaxed."

"I didn't expect him to be starting a new family so soon…" JJ confessed. "I figured we'd stay good enough friends to talk to each other about stuff like this."

* * *

"He'll be here soon JJ, relax." Spencer had driven JJ to the airport to meet Henry when he returned. "I bet he will be happy to see you."

The blonde nodded her head as she rolled to the balls of her feet and bounced slightly. She had been waiting for too long to see her son, the plane landed approximately ten minutes ago and there was no sign of them at the baggage claim. JJ jumped slightly when he felt Spencer's hand rest on her back. Looking up the blonde smiled as she watched Henry round the corner before breaking into a run once he laid eyes on his mother.

"Mommy!" He shouted once he finally reached his mother. The small boy jumped up into her waiting arms.

"Hi baby!" JJ smiled brightly. "I missed you so much! Were you good for daddy?"

The blonde boy nodded his head. "For daddy and Liam! They made me my own room! It's blue with cars!" Henry went on to tell his mother about the new house his daddy lived in.

Spencer was listening as well but not in great detail when he saw not only Will walking up to them but who he assumed was Liam. Their fingers were wrapped tightly together and the woman had a hand laying across her stomach even though there wasn't anything there.

"Spencer, good to see you again." Will nodded.

"You too." Spencer nodded in return, even though it wasn't his family and his situation Spencer still felt extremely awkward about all of it. And he had questions the biggest one being: 'Why was Liam here?'

JJ lifted her son off the ground and placed him on her hip. The small blonde boy had his head nestled into his mother's neck and looked in need of a long nap. "Hello Will." JJ stated cooley as she looked up at her ex.

Will shifted uncomfortably before squeezing Liam's hand. "Hi JJ, this is Liam. Liam, JJ." The short brunette untangled her hand and extended it. JJ took it and shook awkwardly as she tried to balance her son.

It was quite obvious Liam was just as uncomfortable as everyone else, but that didn't seem to stop her from trying to make conversation. "So you're Henry's step father?" She asked towards Spencer.

The geniuses IQ seemed to drop one-hundred and fifty points because he just stood mouth open staring between JJ and Liam. "I-uh-no…" He stuttered out.

"Spence is Henry's godfather." JJ cut in, her body language turned from calm and motherly to angry and defensive.

Liam nodded her head before moving her hand back to her stomach. "I'm sorry, I just assumed because I saw him in all the web chats. Henry talked about him all the time when he was telling me about pirates and Napoleon."

Reid couldn't help but smile Henry had remembered what he told him. "I've just been helping JJ for the last few months-"

"I think Henry needs to get home." JJ cut him off. "Traveling makes him tired."

"Of course." Will replied. "Maybe we can grab lunch together? Before Liam and I head back?" He asked. "

JJ awkwardly nodded. "Maybe…"

* * *

"You really don't have to do this." JJ smiled as she watched Spencer wash the dishes from dinner that night. He was up to his elbows in soapy water. Henry had insisted on macaroni and cheese for dinner, but not the box kind, the kind with seasoning, and breadcrumbs, and heavy cream (good thing Spencer always had his lactose medication with him). JJ had cooked the meal so Spencer offered to clean up so JJ could throw in some extra playtime with Henry before he went to bed. The sun was still out at eight at night but JJ couldn't have been more exhausted.

"I insist." Spencer replied with a smile. "I haven't eaten macaroni like that since… Well since the last time I had dinner here"

JJ nodded. "It has been a while hasn't it? About a year or so… We always insisted on taking Henry out instead of eating in."

"It just felt like Will wasn't all that happy with having me here." Reid confessed. "Like I was invading his home."

JJ smiled sheepishly, that's exactly what Will had thought. "He was just territorial, he meant no harm." She walked over to cabinet and took two wine glasses down before walking over to the rack next to the fridge and grabbing a bottle of red. She popped the top off and poured two glasses before handing one to Spencer.

Spencer took it willingly but stopped before taking a sip. "I really shouldn't I have to drive."

"Then I'll grab some cheese, you go sit in the living room." Spencer shook his head before laughing and walking out of the kitchen. He placed the glass on the wooden coffee table before slumping into the couch. There were magazines on the table that Spencer loved looking through, it was always interesting learning about baby growth patterns and the new health fad. Spencer looked over the magazines and realized these were all old issues from at least three months ago. Had JJ stopped her subscription after Will had left? He stopped profiling when a pamphlet slipped out from between two magazines, it has a picture on the front of what was supposedly an egg and sperm.

When JJ entered the room she froze at the door. She forgot all about the fertility pamphlet in the parenting magazines. It was something that she had been reading over and over again until she finally made the call to book the appointment with the specialist…

"I wasn't snooping!" Spencer defended. "It just fell…"

JJ put the plate of cheese and crackers on the coffee table before sitting down on the sofa. "I… I was just looking, it's nothing just something I found at the doctor's office."

Reid played with the corner of the paper. "Are you looking into donors?" He asked. "Fifty-one percent of male sperm donors lie about their schooling, height, and family health history."

JJ giggled. "I didn't realize there could be anything but male sperm donors."

Spencer blushed before continuing. "I just want you to be safe and your possible future baby as well."

The blonde smiled as the faintest idea popped into her head. " _What about Spencer?_ " Her mind thought. " _He'd be a perfect donor right? You know his family history, there would be no surprises. He's tall, extremely smart, and very handsome… He'd have cute babies.. BABIES! You only want one!"_

JJ looked at Reid as he took a long sip on his wine. He wouldn't make her do it alone. He would be in it one hundred percent of the time!

She took a large gulp before blurting her words out. "What if we did this together?" She asked. "What if we had a baby together?" She took another sip so she wouldn't lose her nerve.

Reid stared at her wide eyed. "M-me?" He asked. "B-but… My mom… And m-me… I couldn't JJ… I couldn't knowingly have a child and walk away…" He confessed. "I know thirty-two percent of fertility treatments use friends as donors but I'm just not comfortable to do that."

JJ smiled widely which resulted in a strange look from Reid. "I wouldn't want you to just walk away." She said. "I'd want you to spend time with the baby. Let them know you are their parent, I would never take them away from you."

Spencer pinched himself praying that this wasn't just a dream. He prayed that this was really happening and that JJ really wanted a baby with him.

"I have an appointment on Monday if you would like to come with me." She told him. "You need to bring a complete medical and family history though." Spencer nodded before reaching for s slice of cheese.

"Are we really doing this?" He asked.

"We are." JJ replied with a grin.

The night passed and JJ filled Spencer in on everything she had researched. She was walking Spencer to the day late into the night when he stopped her. "Two things," he said, "let's not tell the team yet."

"I agree."

"And two…" He strayed his eyes away from JJ. "Why… Why do you want to have a baby with me and not Will?" He asked, JJ was about to answer when he cut her off. "You told me that night at Rossi's and the night in the office that it tore you two apart… Having kids… But you still want them and obviously so did he."

JJ sighed, "the leading cause of divorce is the death of a child,"

"I know that," Spencer replied not backing down.

JJ rubbed her eyes, "I just… I just can't have his child Spencer… I lost his child and I didn't tell him. I couldn't tell him because then he would be right. He would be right about my job, and my parenting, and I just can't do admit it to him or myself… Because I hope to god it isn't true. I'm a better parent than he thinks I am and my job does not affect that at all."

Spencer leaned down to kiss her forehead. "You're the most amazing mother I have ever seen JJ. Don't you ever doubt that."

 **Don't forget to review:)**


	5. Chapter 5

Garcia arrived at JJ's house bright and early the following morning but not early enough to get there before Spencer did. JJ was upstairs showering so Reid offered to make his godson breakfast. The two boys were eating dinosaur pancakes when Garcia walked into the kitchen.

"Aren't you a sight for sore eye Spiderboy!" The colourful blonde smiled as she took a seat next to Henry.

He finished his large bite of pancake before answering, "I'm great! I saw alligators auntie Penny!"

"Did they try to eat you?!" Garcia asked just as excitedly.

Henry giggled, "no! I'm still here auntie Penny!"

"Oh that's right!" Next Penelope turned to Spencer who took his last bite of pancake. "Why are you here so early wonder boy?"

He swallowed his bite, "uh, JJ asked me to drive her to her appointment… The parking there cost an arm and a leg…"

"Excellent!" Garcia cheered. "Take her to lunch so my godson and I can have a fun and wild afternoon."

"I'll ask her-"

"Tell her." Penelope ordered. "Don't give her a choice, be spontaneous."

Spencer was going to retort to his friends orders when JJ descent down the stairs and entered the kitchen carrying a manila envelope. She'll kissed Henry on the forehead before hugging Garcia. "Thank you for watching him. The appointment might run long though-maybe and hour or two."

Garcia grinned like a Cheshire Cat. "Take your time! Go for lunch I insist! Henry and I will be here playing games."

JJ looked up at Spencer who shook his head before giving her a soft smile. "Okay Pen, we'll go for lunch. Just make sure Henry gets some fruit in his okay?"

"Of course gorgeous mama! He will be healthy and spiritful when you return."

They all said their goodbyes and JJ gave Henry one last kiss before heading out the door and into Spencer's car. As she sat in the passenger seat JJ moved a large folder onto her lap that she predicted was Spencer's medical history.

Spencer started the car and rolled down the driveway before heading down the street to the main road. They were silent for a few minutes only the sound of JJ's nails tapping the folder was heard. "You can read it if you'd like?" Reid told her. "You already know everything history, then there is my mom's illness and her medical history… And most of my dads…"

JJ's face dropped into a relieved smile. "You talked to your dad?"

"No, he left it before he moved out. Just in case."

JJ nodded. "You can read mine if you'd like. There isn't much there… Roz's mental illness, so my parents got me tested for just about everything. My dad's cancer, and the medical file from Henry's birth and when I tore my ACL playing soccer in college."

"I know, I've read your file…" Spencer confessed turning slightly pink. He expected JJ to be angry but was relieved when she chuckled before turning the radio on.

 ** _I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,_**

 ** _Or tell you that._**

 ** _But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it_**

 ** _Where's the sense in that?_**

JJ's face lite up as the song filled the car, she turned the volume up. "I love this song! I haven't heard it in years."

 ** _I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder_**

 ** _Or return to where we were_**

 ** _But I will go down with this ship_**

 ** _And I won't put my hands up and surrender_**

 ** _There will be no white flag above my door_**

 ** _I'm in love and always will be_**

Spencer averted his eyes to her every few seconds to watch her sway as much as she could strapped into the seat.

 ** _I know I left too much mess and destruction_**

 ** _To come back again_**

 ** _And I caused nothing but trouble_**

 ** _I understand if you can't talk to me again_**

He tried to find in his mind if he had ever heard the song. He remembered the distinct voice belonged to Dido. (He knew this from her Christmas songs JJ made him listen to every year.)

 ** _And if you live by the rules of "it's over"_**

 ** _Then I'm sure that that makes sense_**

 ** _I will go down with this ship_**

 ** _And I won't put my hands up and surrender_**

 ** _There will be no white flag above my door_**

 ** _I'm in love and always will be_**

 ** _And when we meet_**

 ** _Which I'm sure we will_**

 ** _All that was there_**

 ** _Will be there still_**

 ** _I'll let it pass_**

 ** _And hold my tongue_**

 ** _And you will think_**

 ** _That I've moved on..._**

JJ's voice started getting louder than the music.

 ** _I will go down with this ship_**

 ** _And I won't put my hands up and surrender_**

 ** _There will be no white flag above my door_**

 ** _I'm in love and always will be_**

 ** _I will go down with this ship_**

 ** _And I won't put my hands up and surrender_**

 ** _There will be no white flag above my door_**

 ** _I'm in love and always will be_**

 ** _I will go down with this ship_**

 ** _And I won't put my hands up and surrender_**

 ** _There will be no white flag above my door_**

 ** _I'm in love and always will be_**

- ** _Dido White Flag_**

As the song finished and so did JJ's performance Spencer let out a round of applause for her as they stopped at the red light. "Encore!" He cheered causing JJ to laugh and swat his arm.

"It's not like you've never caught up in a song before." She teased.

Spencer laughed before pressing the gas. "You can't really 'rock out' to Mozart. At least not the same way. Some of his memorial concerts get a little heavy when artists add their own swing to his work."

* * *

Once they entered the office the receptionist sent them right into an examination room rather than the waiting room. JJ sat up in the exam table while Spencer sat in a small grey chair, his legs were too long compared to the height of the chair so they practically sat under his armpits making JJ laugh.

entered the room a few minutes later with a coffee and clipboard in hand. "Jennifer?" She asked before sitting in the chair.

JJ nodded before sitting up straighter. "Yes, and this is Spencer Reid…" She gestured to her friend.

The doctor took the medical history files and took a quick skim over JJ's, "so you already have a son. There doesn't seem to be any problems during or after the pregnancy. Was there a problem conceiving?"

JJ blushed a dark red as she picked at he nails and avoiding looking at Spencer. "No… Henry wasn't really planned… So it just kind of happened."

Dr. Wyatt nodded her head. "Well if you don't mind me asking, why are you here?"

JJ and Spencer looked at each other for a long moment before JJ spoke up. "We both decided we wanted children, and we've decided to have a baby together through fertility treatment."

The doctor looked down at JJ's history again before grabbing Spencer's file and skimming it over. "I'm going to be frank with you." She said after a long few minutes. "There is nothing here telling me you both aren't able to have a baby naturally. Now I understand given the circumstances that they two of you aren't intimate with each other that natural conception isn't the most… Comfortable thing to talk about." She motioned her head towards Spencer who looked like he was about to pass out. "But doing it the old fashion way, one good old roll in the hay; would save you thousands of dollars."

JJ leaned over to the chair as she rested her hand on Spencer's shoulder to try to calm him down. "Is it alright if we discuss what we wish to do?"

"Of course!" Dr. Wyatt replied. "Now I wouldn't want to make this a useless visit-" she reached into the drawer behind her and pulled out a clear cup with a blue lid and a white label. "Spencer, it seems that you don't have a count on file."

The colour completely drained from the younger man's face while JJ tried hard not to laugh. "Take the cup across the hall, it's the first door you see. Completely soundproof and there will be magazines waiting."

Spencer hesitantly took the cup and practically ran out of the room. Dr. Wyatt shut the door behind him before turning to JJ with a stern look. "Now we need to talk about you."

"Me?" JJ asked, she couldn't think of anything-

"You've had what is considered a fairly recent miscarriage… That wasn't biologically caused."

JJ swallowed.

"The triage centre did do a check up on your ovaries and cleared you with fairly good health. However that doesn't mean you are emotionally ready to have a baby." JJ was about to protest when the doctor cut her off. "I have many mothers come through here trying to replace a lost child, and often we receive bad results. Which is why we now have a mandatory psych evaluation before we can even think about beginning the process."

JJ groaned internally, she hated being shrinked. "How long?"

"A few sessions, maybe four. The. I get doctor Whitmores results and decide if you are suitable enough to go through with the procedure. If this is so,etching you really want to do then I can book a meeting with him for next Thursday?"

JJ thought it over… Sex with Spence? It wasn't exactly on her list of things to do before she died… "I will meet with him until Spence and I make our decision."

"Great idea!" Dr. Wyatt smiled. "I can book you in for next Thursday at two in the afternoon. Does that work?"

"I may have to reschedule… My work schedule tends to be a little off."

"Don't worry about it Dr. Whitmore is very flexible with his scheduling so don't be afraid to call and sort out your appointments."

* * *

The two pulled up outside of an inside-out burger about half an hour later. Spencer was still flushed and awkward about the event in the doctor's office so he almost drove JJ straight home until she reminded him of their lunch plan. They ordered their food then sat down at a brown table with plastic looking chairs.

"Do we want to talk about this?" JJ asked as she bit her burger.

Spencer picked at his fries refusing to look at his friend. "What's there to talk about?" He replied.

JJ looked taken aback and her brow furrowed. "You don't want to do this anymore?"

"Not if we are doing this for the wrong reasons." JJ was about to comment but Spencer continued. "You're still grieving, and you're angry with Will. You know I want a child JJ but I can't with you, not right now. Maybe when you start to figure things out-"

"Take me home." JJ snapped. "I don't want to talk about this anymore I just want to go home."

* * *

JJ unlocked the door to her home before stomping in and slamming it behind her. Penelope ran to the mud room with her finger over her lips telling her friend to quiet down. "Henry is taking a nap," she saw the angry expression on JJ's face. "What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it!" The blonde snapped at her best friend.

Garcia's eyes widened before she grabbed her purse off of the coat rack. "Right, well I'm going to go now." She didn't wait for JJ to reply before she walked out the door to her car.

JJ just walked into the kitchen to pour herself a glass of water, but she didn't make it to the fridge before her legs gave out and she became a weeping mess in the floor.

* * *

 **An: Hi! I hope you like the update! Please leave a review to let me know what you liked and didn't like! Thank you!**


	6. Chapter 6

JJ pulled up outside of her gynecologist's office again for the third time in three huffed as the exited the car and walked into the building. Hotch had put them on downtime for the week so JJ had been spending as much time as she could with Henry; The beginning of September was fast approaching and soon her little boy would be going to school.

Spencer had also been avoiding the Jareau house like the plague and it was really taking a damper on Henry because Will and Liam had returned back to New Orleans so the small boy was missing all of his father figures. JJ knew it was hard on Spence as well, he hated making Henry feel this way…

JJ swallowed what was left of her pride before entering the office.

* * *

Reid found himself that morning in a café about an hour away from his home. Rossi had invited him out for coffee to talk; what about? He has no idea.

The older man returned to their seat with two cups of coffee and two biscuits. He placed the cups down before sitting and taking a long sip, Reid looked down at the thick black coffee in the cup and smiled politely as his eyes scanned the table for cream and sugar.

Dave pushed the ceramic bowl over to the genius and watched him rip open five packs of the sugar and pour them into the small cup. "So…" Rossi finally spoke as Reid stirred the the cup.

"So?" Spencer replied as he brought the beverage to his lips.

"What's going on with you and JJ?"

Spencer's mouth fell open and the hot liquid fell onto his shirt making him jump and spill his coffee more. "N-nothing… Nothing is going on between Jennifer and I."

"Why did you call her Jennifer?" Rossi asked. "You only do that when your worried about her or mad."

"I'm not mad…" He mumbled.

"Then worried? I was quite surprised when you agreed to come for coffee. I was sure you would be with Henry, since Will left you three have spent hours together being a family. Not to mention the late nights you and JJ spent in the office together while Henry was away. But suddenly it all stopped. Why?"

"We… We are just in an awkward place right now." Reid confessed as he patted dry his shirt.

"Did you kiss?"

"NO!" Spencer yelled attracting the attention of the other occupants. "No…" He whispered. "We didn't kiss…"

Rossi nodded his head. "Then what happened? You've both stopped being your happy selves."

"It's not really my place though Rossi. She's in a bad place right now and I think I pushed her deeper in… But I did it to help her."

The Italian man's eyes raised. "Is she hurting herself?"

"Not physically but emotionally. She put herself in a bad place and she thought I could fix it with her. At first it sounded like a great idea because I wanted to help her and I really liked the idea… Then we looked closer and I realized it wasn't the time. And she just shut down on me."

"What's going on with her Spencer? How can I help?"

"Can you give her back her child?"

* * *

"So Jennifer." Dr. Whitmore stated as he pulled out a notebook. "I have a rule here in my office. You lead the counseling not me. If you want to talk about it you have to tell me and we can talk about it, if you don't tell me what's wrong we can't fix it. Got it?"

The man was older, maybe Rossi's age. He had thick glasses and a white receding hairline. "Ok…" JJ replied. "I just want to be cleared… To have a baby."

"So can we start with that? Why do you want a baby?"

"I love being a mother…"

The doctor wrote as they talked. "You have kids already?"

JJ nodded. "One, Henry. He'll be five in November."

"What happened between you can his father?"

"We were together for almost six years but it didn't work."

"What didn't work?"

"Being with Will. I just couldn't do it, I couldn't see his face everyday."

"Why? Did he change?"

"He didn't change I did."

"How?"

"I started to resent him and be angry at him."

"Why?"

JJ started to become frustrated and annoyed with the constant questions and little response. "Because I didn't know what else to do! I lost his baby and it was all my fault but I needed it to be his!"

Whitmore nodded his head as he continued to write. "I know, I read your file. You were in an accident that lead to a miscarriage. What type of accident was it?"

"You don't have the clearance." JJ snapped.

"So an accident at work? Why are you still working there?"

"It wasn't the same work I do now. That place is cold and dark, innocent lives died and I sat helplessly and watched everyday."

"Thank you Jennifer," he stood to shake her hand. "We will schedule your next appointment, it was nice meeting you."

JJ shook his hand before leaving. As she made it to the car she couldn't help but feel relieved, she wasn't mad at Will for the death of their child she was mad at herself… And she needed to fix things with Spencer…

* * *

JJ returned home earlier than she expected to. She decided to leave Henry with the sitter for just a little while longer so she could sneak in a nap. As she entered her home she was invited with the smell of her favourite Parmesan chicken. However the smell couldn't distract her from realizing that someone was in her home.

She drew her weapon from her purse before slipping her heels off and walking into the kitchen. As she walked in she recognized the frame of the man cooking in her kitchen, she recognized the shirt, she had bought it…

"Will?" She asked.

He turned around with a sympathetic grin. "Hi darlin'."

* * *

Reid and Rossi had ended up spending most of the day together.

" _JJ lost her child? When? Rossi asked._

 _Spencer swallowed he had told him too much… "A few years ago, after Strauss moved her. I don't know everything but she didn't go to the pentagon, not at first anyway. They sent her to the Middle East and during that period of time she lost Will's child."_

 _"And you want to give her back that child? You want to replace Will in her life? By giving her what she could never ask him for?"_

 _Spencer felt his face heat up._

 _"Have you heard the spermwhale story? Where it adopted the blunt nose dolphin who got lost at sea?"_

 _Spencer nodded. "What does that have to do with JJ-"_

 _"You're the spermwhale and Henry is the Dolphin. The whale loved that dolphin so much she wanted more whales to take care of. So she did, and she gave them dolphin siblings because she loved the idea of being a parent."_

 _"But she was a mother it wasn't an idea."_

 _"The dolphin wasn't a baby Spencer the hard years had already past."_

 _The the younger man got quiet as he took it all in… "I have to go see JJ." He jumped up from his chair and rushed out of the cafe leaving Rossi with a satisfied look on his face._

 _"Thata boy."_

* * *

When Spencer pulled up outside of JJ's house he found her standing on the porch with a man. Reid looked closer to find the man was Will. Too stunned to move he just watched them; he watched them as they embraced in a tight hug. Then when they pulled away Will leaned over and kissed her on the cheek before squeezing her hand and heading down the street to the waiting taxi.

Spencer was trying his best to find a logical reason behind all this but instead he felt his heart break into a tiny million pieces.

* * *

 **AN: sorry it's short I've been really busy with school lately and I haven't been feeling good either.**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: It's the chapter you've been waiting for! Sorta!**

JJ was putting away the last of the cleanly washed dishes, her mind was far far away from, her body.

" ** _I love you JJ, you know that right_**?"

The loud knock on the door pulled her away from the recent memory. She dried her hands and entered the mudroom to unlock the door. Spencer Reid stood in the other side and he wasn't mirroring the joyous smile JJ was wearing instead he held an angry scowl. The look almost made JJ laugh until her mind flashed back to their fight about Emily.

"Spence…"

"Why was he here?!" He was defiantly angry. "JJ!"

The blonde swallowed before opening the door and motioning her friend to come in.

" ** _I wanted to talk… About us." Will told her as he stepped closer. "We need to talk about a lot of things."_**

"Spencer?" JJ asked as she lead him to the living room and sat on the took his hand and squeezed it tight for reassurance, when he did not pull away but still did not speak JJ pressed on. "What do you think you saw?"

He fidgeted a little but still squeezed her hand in return. "I saw Will leaving… and you hugged him, and kissed his cheek. Are you two getting back together?" What about Liam? What about me?" he didn't mean to add himself in there but he wasn't thinking straight, he was angry and he was jealous and he hated those feelings.

 ** _"I love you JJ and you'll always hold a piece of my heart, but I will never hold yours. You've left it with someone who will never destroy it."_**

 _And I found who it belongs to, it always belonged to him. I was just too afraid to ever admit my feels were true. I was afraid of rejection and the pain of a broken heart but that's not it anymore, I have nothing to lose with loving Spence I never did_. "Spence, Will and I are not getting back together. There was just a lot we needed to talk about that we never got a chance to talk about."

"About Henry? And Liam? And their baby?"

JJ nodded as she moved to sit closer to her friend. "And you of course, Will is happy that Henry has someone in his life like you. He needs a father figure when his father isn't around." Her other free hand looped around his shoulder to pull him into a hug. "And he's thrilled that it's you."

Spencer felt the blush across his cheeks and he averted his eyes away from JJ. "Really?"

"Of course! You've always been an important part of my life. And honestly I'm sorry for the way I've been acting… It wasn't fair to you."

Spencer looked up shyly at his best friend, "I don't care about that, I just want you to be okay. I hate it when you act like everything's okay but really you're falling apart on the inside." He looked up to meet JJ's eye. "I care about you far too much."

"Thank you," JJ replied as she pulled him closer into their hug, her head laid against his chest and his arms settled on her back pulling as close as possible. "I care about you too, you know that. Right?"

She felt his head nod. "The ten weeks on your couch was more than enough proof for me, I love you Jayge-" the words slipped through his lips before he even realized he said them.

The room was quiet for a moment, then two… JJ pulled back to look at his face, her eyes traced every line his face as she worked up the courage to say to him what she had been dying to say to him for over nine years. "I-I love you too."

It wasn't until Spencer felt her lips on his did he realize what just had happened and he couldn't be happier. His hand found its way into her long blonde hair pulling her closer to him until she was practically on top of him.

* * *

Garcia sat in a lawn chair with a big fluffy hat and a large martini glass at one of Morgan's investment homes with Prentiss, Savannah, and of course Derek. "I'm glad you all could join me today." The tech analysts stated as she took a sip of the lime flavoured drink. "We have very serious matters to discuss."

Derek rolled his eyes as he handed Savannah a glass of lemonade. "Are we talking about blondie and Reid again?"

"Yes!" Garcia shrieked. "It is very important! I may not be a profiler but I know something happened between them and it isn't good."

Emily lifted her sunglasses to the top of her head. "They seemed fine to me."

"They stopped their late night office rendezvous, and they barely said goodbye to each other the other day. Normally it a ten hour conversation about what they're doing with Henry that weekend. Since the genius boy took peaches to that appointment a while ago they've been off. She even yelled at me when she got back!"

This time it was Savannah who spoke. "Maybe the reality of being a single parent it setting in for her? And she's trying to prove to herself that she doesn't need Spencer's help?"

Morgan grinned as he leaned from his chair to kiss his girlfriend. "I bet you're right in the money baby girl."

Garcia sunk back into her seat and finished the alcohol in the glass. "What do you think E?"

Emily was sitting in her chair swooshing the beer around in the bottle. "She has seemed kind of angry lately, but we know she's been upset about the baby-"

"What baby?" Morgan asked.

Emily sighed. "Will and his new girlfriend Liam are having a baby and JJ kind of lost it at the bar when she told us. She was angry that he moved on so quickly you know?"

Savannah frowned and held her hand close to her heart. "We should do something together, girls night out?"

Garcia's face lite up. "Yeah!" She cheered. "Booze and movies!"

"I'm in!" Prentiss agreed. "Where should we have it?"

"JJ's, duh!" Penelope replied we'll surprise her."

"What about Henry?" Derek asked.

"That is where uncle Derek happens."

* * *

JJ and Spencer were laying on the couch curled together under a throw that was on the back of the couch. JJ rolled over so her bare chest was resting against his and her arms would wrap around his torso better. Her lips came forward to kiss his shoulder and lead a trail to his neck but was stopped by the familiar ring of her cell phone.

"That better not be Hotch." JJ groaned and she reached for the coffee table where her phone sat.

Spencer wrapped his hands around JJ waist to keep her from falling. She flung herself back into his arms when she picked up her phone. "Hello?"

"Hey Garcia!"

"Tonight?"

"What about Henry?"

"Derek's never babysat before-"

"Well where are we doing girls night then?"

"Here?! When?!"

"Ugh!" JJ groaned as she curled her face into Spencer's chest. "Fine! When are you coming?"

JJ sat up to give Spencer a sympathetic smile as she waiting for a response.

"Now!" Her eyes almost popped out of her head.

JJ hung up the phone before grabbing the blanket and wrapping it around herself. "You have to go…" She whispered.

It surprised her when Spencer laughed so lightly. "I figured." He told her before he reached up to gently kiss her lips before pulling back and sitting up. "Can you pass me my clothes."

JJ blushed as she lifted the pile of his clothes that sat next to her's. "Sorry to kick you out like this… I just don't think we are ready to tell them yet… Right?"

JJ was relieved when Reid nodded in agreement. "Definitely not yet."

The two got dressed quickly and JJ opened a few of the windows in the living room to air the space out. She then met Spencer in the mud room before walking him to his car that sat across the street. They embraced in a quick hug and passionate kiss before Spencer drove away.

JJ stood on her porch as she thought about her day, it definitely did not turn out as she thought it would.

 ** _Will served her chicken before he sat on the chair across from her. He served himself someone before he started talking. "It wasn't until I met Liam did I understand what you and Spencer have. We were just kids messin' around when we first met and now we have our lives figured out and ready."_**

 ** _JJ nodded as she poked around at the chicken. "I need to tell you something…"_**

 ** _"Let me finished? Please?" He didn't wait for her to answer he just continued. "And I understand why you acted the way you did. I was that way every time Reid was around, the thought they they could replace you was heart breaking. And the fear of losing the person you love… But you didn't love me." Will stated looking JJ dead in the eye. "Not the way I wanted you to, and to be honest I'm not even sure if I loved you like that… Or I only loved you because you gave me Henry. I want you to be happy JJ, I want you to be with Reid and not be afraid that it will mess with our friendship. I don't want to it just like I don't want Liam to."_**

 ** _JJ sucked back her tears as it was her turn to speak and she knew she was going to break his heart. "When… When I was… Away. I-I had a miscarriage… I was reckless and stupid and it cost me our child." The tears started. "I couldn't bring myself to tell you Will, I'm so sorry…"_**

 ** _She felt his warm body embrace her in a hug from the side. "I know," he whispered. "Mateo called after it happened… You were unconscious for two days and he was afraid of brain damage so he called to tell me you may not be coming home. And then he told me about the baby, he told me he knew I didn't know but I should know. I didn't say anything because I wanted to give you time to process it and deal with it your own way. Like always."_**

 ** _JJ hugged her ex closer before she blew into full tears. She felt so free and at peace the burden was gone! She wasn't holding a secret from him anyone, and he could be at peace too with his new family. Finally the world was turning properly and JJ had never been so grateful._**

She was pulled out of her thoughts by the sound of Nicki Minaj blasting from Garcia's convertible. The bright car pulled up into her driveway and the engine was shut off allowing JJ's eardrums to stop screaming. Beth and Savannah hopped out of the back while Emily and Garcia got out from the front before moving to the trunk to unload everything needed for their girls night. "Did you forget the kitchen sink?" JJ asked as Emily walked up the steps carrying two bags in each hand and the rest of the girls following with the same load size.

"We thought you could supply that." Penelope quipped. "As well as a blender."

 **AN: 2chapter in 2days?! Yes! I hope you guys enjoyed this and it cleared any questions you guys had. I would like to apologize about the last chapter cause yeah... It sucked and I'm sorry but I took the day off and ended up writing this one! Please follow and review!**


	8. Chapter 8

JJ returned to her living room with a bowl of chips to find the girls sucking back on what looked to be their second set of margaritas. Garcia held out a glass to the blonde with a smile on her face. "Beth was just telling us about her new life in New York." Penelope stated. "And what it's like to be daring our boss."

JJ took the glass and sat on the floor in front of the couch. She watched a Beth's cheeks tinted a bright pink. "Ignore her," JJ laughed. "And no offence Beth because we love having you here. But why are you with us instead of Hotch?" She asked.

"Aaron and jack are having a boys night, I didn't want to intrude so when Penelope invited me over I said yes." She smiled. "My visit was a surprise and I didn't want them to change their plans just for me."

Garcia let out a loud awe before diving into the bowl JJ brought out. "So peaches? How are things going with 187?"

JJ nearly choked on her drink distracting everyone from her red face. "Uh… Normal I guess. He was here not long ago."

"So you two made up?" Prentiss asked. "That's great!"

JJ looked between her two best friends trying to figure out what they were talking about. "Made up?"

"Yeah!" Garcia replied. "You two had been all cute and cuddly and suddenly you wouldn't even look at each other for more than a second!" Her hands flying in the air over dramatically.

JJ closed her eyes tightly and sighed. "We just had a disagreement on something that's all. But he and I are fine now I promise."

"Good! Now when are you two getting together?"

The group laughed before turning the conversation onto their usual fun banter.

A few hours past and JJ snuck away from the notebook during the rain scene to give Henry a quick call before bed. She dialled Morgan's number and waited for him to pick up.

"Hey blondie." He answered.

"Hi, how are things going?" She asked.

"Good your spunky kid is about two minutes away from passing out after an intense game of football." Derek chuckled. "Henry come say goodnight to your mom."

"So he's not causing you any problems? He's normally a good kid but sometimes when he's with Pen he flies off the handle."

"That's because she gives him his weight in candy."

JJ grinned. "Very true."

"Momma?" She heard her son's tired voice through the phone.

"Hi baby, how are you?"

"Good! I caughted the football and even tackled uncle Derek!"

"That's amazing!

* * *

Midnight was fast approaching and the girls were still wide awake watching old television shows while eating containers of ice cream. "Doesn't Hotch look like Greg?" Emily asked everyone as the episode of Dharma and Greg ended.

"Yeah, I can see it." Garcia replied. "Also like I can see Kathy from friends looking exactly like you."

Emily scoffed before laughing. "I would never get a haircut like that."

"That's okay," Savannah cut in. "I find Derek looks like Malcolm Winters from the young and the restless."

The entire room erupted into laughter. "Aaron looks like Greg from Dharma and Greg." Beth giggled. The entire room broke out into a fit of laughter as the compared characters to their real life friends

* * *

About three days had passed since JJ had the girls over and since she and Spencer had admitted their feelings. JJ was waiting patiently in the office of Dr. Whitmore, she had decided against her original plan of having a baby through the clinic and decided that if she and Spencer really wanted one the would do it together the right way at the right time.

"Sorry for keeping you waiting Jennifer." The doctor said as he entered the room and sat in a large comfy chair. "How have you been?"

JJ smiled brightly and straightened her posture. "Amazing! I just feel so relaxed and stress free! Will and I finally had a long and good talk about our relationship and we agreed that splitting up was what was best for us."

Dr. Whitmore nodded his head and wrote on his note paper. "Have you discussed your intensions of a baby with him?"

JJ shook her head. "It is none of his business at this time-"

"Weren't you mad when he had conceived a child without tell you about them?"

"Well yes, but I wanted to discuss that with you. Spencer, the man who was going to be my donor. He and I seem to be on the tracks of pursuing a relationship and I wanted to wait to have a child, to have one with him and do it properly."

The doctor's eyes widened. "Well Jennifer it would seem that you are moving forward very well. Now how does Spencer feel about having a baby with you?"

"He would love the idea, we were going to have a baby together anyways but this way we can do all the parenting together."

The doctor nodded but JJ knew it was an agreement nod. "Co-parenting in separate households is one thing. Raising a child together is another, how do you feel about that?"

"I think Spence and I will do great! He would make an amazing father-"

"You don't believe you are moving just a little too fast at this time? It is one thing to have a child together through the clinics process but it is another to be in a relationship and raise a child. I think the two of you should sit down and discuss your goals and plans for the future if you have already progressed so maturely in your relationship."

JJ stared dumbfounded at the doctor. "You think Spence and I are moving too fast?" It came out as a whisper.

"I never said that Jennifer."

"It was implied!" JJ shot back. "I am happy! Why are you trying to ruin it?!"

"You are a tough girl Jennifer, who refuses to let her emotions out even when they are banging on the door with all their force. You act out as a way to relieve the pain and that is not healthy. It is like someone who drinks or does drugs to stop hurting, you act quickly and without thinking and only in favour of yourself."

JJ stood from the chair and grabbed her bag. "I should be going."

"Do not forget to book your next appointment Jennifer."

"I know!" JJ shouted before slamming the office door.

* * *

Once leaving the office JJ drove around the neighbourhood for a while letting all this new information seep into her mind. She decided to think back all the way back to the night of Rosaline's funeral. She had locked herself away in the basement for a few days because she refused to walk past Roz's room to get to her own. During that time she never stopped to wonder how her parents were, she never asked if they were okay, or stopped to see if they were hurting just as much as she was.

During that time JJ passed her own behaviour off on being a little girl/ She never experienced death or pain before. A soccer ball to the face sure but never a pair of scissors to the heart.

Se drove some more until she found herself outside of Spencer's apartment. She knew what she needed to do no matter how much it would hurt.

She took her time making her way up the three flights of stairs and down the hallway to his room. Tenderly she knocked on the door and waiting for him to answer. "Coming!" She heard from the other side of the door followed by a crash of what sounded like a pile of books falling to the floor. Spencer swung the door open and smiled, "JJ hi! Come in!"

The apartment was clean which made JJ feel relieved. She slipped into the room and sunk into the first chair she found. "We should talk." She said abruptly before Reid could speak. "It is really important."

"Of course," Spencer replied.

"Spence, I, I'm worried we may have moved a little too fast… I love you and you know that, just like I know that you love me." She saw Spence nod his head. "But you see, I've been in serious relationships, and I've lived with a man for years and we raised a child together... "

"You think I won't be a good father to Henry?" Spencer asked making JJ's heart break.

"No, no! Not at all! You will be an amazing father! You see Spence, I've done the adult thing… I have a child, and I own a house, I built a family and a life. You, you're still building which is amazing! Because it works for you! I don't want you to feel like you missed out on things because I already have them."

Spencer looked down at his feet for a while gathering his thoughts. "What if I want the life you built JJ? What if I want what you already have and I am okay with not creating it myself?"

JJ half giggled and half sobbed, he was too good. "I would think you were lying. I would think you would regret saying that one day when you realized what you missed."

"Why not start over then? Make our own family together with Henry? Buy a house together when we are ready, get a dog, have children? Why can't we build a life together?"

"Because I've already done it Spencer… It kills me to say these think Spence, it honestly does but I think that it is the best, for now. We can go slow. A date here and there, coffee after a case. Maybe even dinner at my place with Henry?"

Reid held back his own tears. "I would love that."

JJ stood up from her seat and took Spencer's hand. "If we take it slow we can build things together. Things that just belong to us."

"I cannot wait." He replied as she stood from his chair and pulled JJ closer to him hugging her tightly. He could smell her lavender shampoo in the soft blonde hair he was running his fingers through as his arm looped around her waist. "Are you sure this is how you want to do it?" He asked her.

JJ looked up at him and smiled. "I do not want us to regret ever being in love, so let's take our time and get to know each other all over again."

"I think I can handle that." Spencer smirked. "I always like knowing new things."

"Good." JJ smiled. "Because there is a lot I want you to know." They hugged again one last time before JJ kissed his cheek and untangled him from her body before she headed to the door. She turned around once more, "You can maybe even call me later. Just to make sure I got home safe."

"Will do JJ. Will do." He whispered as the door closed behind the most beautiful girl he had ever know. Although his heart was on the verge of breaking now things could only get better from here.

* * *

 **AN: HI! So I had a few comments of concern with the last chapter and I hope everything was cleared up in this chapter!**

 **Another note, the next update may take some time. There was a threat to my school today so all of my stuff was left there and so I hope to get it all back tomorrow but it depends if they chose to open it tomorrow. As well as my mom is concerned someone may steal my ipad because I had to leave it on the desk.**

 **Anyways! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I hope to see some reviews! Comments! Questions! Or Concerns! Thank you!**


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